It was recently asked of me by a friend what I would be doing today...the day when both teachers and students return to the classroom. This was my reply: I
will take my kids to school...come home and reflect (& likely cry)
about how fast time flies and how quickly they grow up...then I will
thank God that I am once again home to enjoy them, help with homework,
fix snacks, listen to them argue, etc...then
I will enjoy the peace and quiet while I clean the house with no
interruptions...by the time 3:00 rolls around I will be anxiously
awaiting as my two favorite little people walk home from school for the
first time ever (yes, I will be the mom in the front yard waiting and
watching)...then I will hear all about their day as we make the short
drive over to the high school to pick up my favorite freshman guy and
learn about the latest trials and tribulations of high school
life...then we will all return home to do homework/fill out first day of
school forms, grab a snack, and get supper ready before Alex has band
practice at 6:00...yes, within a day's time our life will return to a
normal that I know and love! #blessed
I must warn you that this particular blog post has been written and re-written in my mind several times during the past months. Please pardon its length if it ends up being rather long. At this same time last summer, I sat around discouraged...almost desperate...seeking God's plan for me in that stage of life. You see, I had years before given up the only job I ever wanted (teaching) in order to have the only other job that I knew would be even more rewarding (being a stay at home mom). Fast-forward 12 years and 3 kids later and there I was...my baby, baby was soon to be an 8th grader and my sweet and precious little people were soon to be 1st graders. I had spent the year subbing at the local primary school...mostly in first grade classrooms but also in kindergarten. Being back in the classroom and with all 3 kids now in school, I suddenly had an itch to be there full-time as well. Myplan was to get back on at our local school district, preferably in a first grade classroom - a far cry from my days of teaching middle school - but the grade at which I had recently fallen in love with all that first grade beholds. And how perfect would it be to be here at the same school as my kids? .... Only as we all know, life doesn't always go according to ourplans. Long story short, after several interviews, much thought and prayers and months of waiting, I got a call from a neighboring district offering me a position teaching first grade there. Without being given a lot of time to think, I saw that God had worked out the greatest and tiniest of details...details that couldn't have fallen into place so quickly without His handiwork. So, with some reluctance that I wouldn't be at the same school as my kids, I accepted the job and moved forward. As excited as I was to be back in the classroom, I will now readily admit that this past year was likely one of the (if not the) most difficult years of my life. It was rough. It was tough. It was a hardship on my family or at least on life as we knew it. It was heartbreaking. It was what I can only equate to as somewhat hellish, for lack of a better word. I almost feel as though it was a year of my life (and that of my family's...specifically, the lives of my 3 kids) that I lost and will never get back. And yet, in hindsight, as I sit here and write, I can see a multitude of blessings that came from this past year...blessings that had I been anywhere else, doing anything else, I may not have had the opportunity to witness, have or be a part of. I am reminded of Laura Story's song, titled 'Blessings', that became my theme song of sorts for the year. The chorus goes like this:
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops What if Your healing comes through tears What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise'
While I sometimes question why I ended up where I was and while I may never know the answer to that, I do believe that there was a reason why I was there. You see, despite the trials and hardships, there was so much more that I gained during this past year... I'd like to share such things...some are funny, while others very serious in nature, but all play a special part in the memories I have of this year. I like to think that each has a purpose of some sort as well. Here are some of my 'blessings in disguise'...(or at least an awakening to such knowledge that I didn't before have), in no particular order:
to be on the way to work before daylight goes against every fiber of my being, but being able to see the picture God paints for us each morning with the sunrise is a good reminder of Who made every fiber of my being
what seems like a quick 10-15 minute drive one way may seem like an eternity going the opposite way (or vice versa)...especially depending upon what has happened in the time in between, the time of day it is, and what the end result of that drive may be
small town cops often drive black pick-up trucks greatly disguising themselves amongst normal traffic (thankfully, I realized this at the beginning of the year)
likewise, cops in other small towns have no issues stopping someone late on a beautiful Spring Friday afternoon and giving them a speeding ticket...a good reminder that life is short, slow down and enjoy it
kids, no matter how dependent on their moms they may be, do have a need to be given some independence and will thrive under the care of another
one's former students can become not only good caretakers of our children, but can also become wonderful praying friends
one's present students, like your own children, can love you always, regardless of the discipline you just enforced...truly, sometimes all they are seeking is that attention
sadly, many of today's kids do not have the upbringing of love and discipline that my own kids know...rather they are left to their own ways and are much more street smart at the age of 7 than I am at the age of 41
never think that all small towns are the same...they are not...what is the norm in one is clearly a culture shock in another...and vice versa
despite the differences in such small towns, you will always find some good, Godly people in all
to witness the diagnosis of cancer in a 6 year old is heart-wrenching...to see the strength and bravery God gives all of His children is heart-warming and a testament to His promises...I reminded myself daily that if my sweet little friend could trudge on thru dealing with cancer then surely I could trudge on thru a difficult time myself...though each "bad" is worse to the person it happens to, I can think of nothing worse than such a diagnosis for a child nor what her parents are dealing with...but I do believe that God has a purpose in her little life and seeing her face her challenge head on has helped me with my own
to have a husband who knows all your quirks and what little things around the house will set off a person with OCD at the end of a long day and who will take his lunch time to come home and take care of those things is just a sampling of the blessing of being married to one's best friend
learning to let things go (mostly because I had no choice or was too exhausted but to do so and not because I wanted to)...laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, and vacuuming the floors, for example...has always been hard for me...but knowing that it's okay to do so every now and then has given me a sense of freedom of sorts
having friends (and mom's and husband's of said friends) who will make sure that your child gets home from school each day and who go out of their way to check and double check schedules, changes in schedules, and even text about meetings regarding school functions that you may not have been aware of is, according to one of these friends, "just what friends do" but for me it was all about learning to let go and learning that it is okay not only to ask for help but to be able to accept it when given
going sometimes months without having a regular conversation with such friends and then being able to pick up right where you left off and being able to share with these friends the current events of your life (many of which they have no relation to whatsoever) and having them not only listen to your complaints and vents but be there to offer supportive advice and on-going prayers is what having best friends is all about
having a 7 year old daughter simply verbalize how much she misses you is, while innocently guilt-provoking, one of the most special conversations between a mother and a daughter
likewise, to have a teenage son make both verbal and written notes of what his mom and all that she does means to him is not only rare in today's world but also comforting that in his season of independence, he still needs his mom around
the sweet and contagious laughter at random times of the other little guy who calls me 'mom' is a simple reminder to just enjoy life no matter what
not being the parent to stay home when a child is sick or not being the parent to go to doctor and dentist appointments was a difficult thing for me, but it gave the other parent the chance to play a part he has seldom gotten to play
a teacher never knows what life is like at home for any given student on any given day...unless they proceed to tell you...at that time, the best thing to do is listen...and then pray because things aren't always what they seem...and most all kids, no matter what, will do whatever it takes to make their parent(s) appear to be the best parent ever and will defend them to no end...
also a teacher should never take a student's actions of being 'cool' as a sign of his/her true self-confidence...many a time, it is the coolest of students who has the worst self-image and needs the most love and encouragement
technology as it has become today is often a thorn in one's side, but at the same time, it is many a time, a lifesaver
late night texts between teachers are more often about lesson plans and ideas than their husbands' may think...such texts though are also words of encouragement or random someecards thrown in for good laughs...words and laughs that are heartfelt and needed
walking into a new job and easily forming an immediate friendship with your two new co-workers is rare at best...growing that friendship into something that will be lifelong is one of God's greatest blessings
it is often said that you get out of life what you put into it...but what blessed assurance it is to have one's family, friends, and church family praying for you and walking the walk alongside you...sometimes life is about others sharing their faith with you
perseverance, while difficult in tough times, is a beautiful thing...and encouragement from family and friends for one to keep going and not give up is a huge plus when you really just want to throw in the towel and walk away...it reminds me of a poem I memorized when I was a teenager titled "Don't Quit" (author unknown) - the last lines of the poem are: 'So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit - It's when things seem the worst that you mustn't quit.'
The above list could go on and on and on......it was a rough year at best, but there was much to be gained from it...and last but certainly not the least of such things is a closer walk with Christ. We have a quote that hangs in our house that says:
'Trust Him when darkest thoughts assail thee,
Trust Him when thy faith is small...
Trust Him when simply to trust is the hardest thing of all.'
Throughout the course of this year, I had to learn to depend on others, but most of all, I had to learn to depend wholeheartedly on Christ. And in doing so, I found that never...ever...not even once, did He forsake me.
I sit here now, almost a year later, wondering yet again what God's plan is for me... Only this time, I am not so worried because I know these truths: 1. He does have a plan for me 2. His plan is always better than mine and 3. No matter what that plan is, He will not forsake me...not for a moment.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
~2 Corinthians 12:9-10
"The Lord will guide you always;he will satisfy your needs..." ~Isaiah 58:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 20:11
Tonight,
as I was tucking Alli into bed, I laid beside her for a few minutes -
we said nothing, but she quickly put her arm around my neck and then
patted my back. She used to do this during nap time when she was a
little bitty thing - she'd pat my back, I'd open one eye and look at
her, she'd smile her precious smile and then sleep. This sweet memory
tonight reminded me of where peace can be found.
This summer was Lane's first attempt at playing baseball. While he knew very little about the game itself, he knew all spring that he wanted to be a part of a baseball team. He talked about it often and was so excited when sign-up time came with tryouts soon to follow.
The first few games all he talked about was sunflower seeds and how he needed some for each game. Finally, before one of the games, Leland stopped at the local gas station (the Pit Stop) and told Lane to go in with him. Lane asked why to which Leland replied: 'sunflower seeds.' Grinning from ear to ear, Lane follows him in and they get to where the sunflower seeds are, neither of them realizing the many kinds of sunflower seeds that are now available, and Leland tells Lane to pick a package. Being the kind, thoughtful and giving little guy that he is, Lane opts for the larger bag. When Leland questions if he really needs that large of a bag of seeds, Lane says that he does so that he can share with his buddies. So, share he did. I think that one bag lasted him them most of the rest of the season.
For a little boy who had never played the game before, Lane was blessed with a set of coaches who never once raised their voices to Lane or any of the other players. Instead, these coaches taught them skills and in gentle, kind voices made 'suggestions' to each and every player on an individual basis as to what he could do to improve this or change that. Praises and high-fives were the norm...it mattered not if it was a great catch on the field or a strike-out at the plate. In the rare event of a loss, the boys were talked to in quiet, calm voices about what went wrong and what they were going to work on in practice to improve. Our parents and fans were likewise the same. Having been witness to quite the opposite of that on any given night against any given team, this particular aspect of this season is one that will always stand out in my mind as a mom. As will the fact that the boys treated each other the same way. There was no superstar player...the boys, many of whom had played before, would often chant "Go Lane go!" when Lane got up to bat. If he got a hit, they were his biggest cheerleaders. If he struck out, they were still his biggest cheerleaders with "good try!" and high-fives regardless. At each practice or game, they were equals among equals. They were a team...a team that Lane couldn't wait to be a part of...a team that, at the young ages of 6, 7, and 8, played with their hearts and souls all season long...a team that any parent would want their child to be a part of. As it turns out, this team of boys quietly yet successfully, played their way right into the playoffs. Then, in the first playoff game, my little guy, along with his awesome
teammates & coaches, played and WON a back and forth, very close and
exciting, nail-biting ball game! **Note: When I mentioned to Lane that the game was a bit nerve-racking, he replies: why?** I'd like to say that this is normal of Lane...there are never any worries in his little world...but this seemed to be the case with all of the boys that night. It later occurred to me that this was because they were out there playing - just playing - doing something they loved - doing it together as a team and not once was there any reminder of the stress the coaches and parents all felt. Rather, it was just a group of boys playing ball. They went on to lose the following two games the next night, but again they did it with smiles on their faces...truly relishing in the happiness of just being there, playing America's sport.
For
my little #1 and the rest of the Troy Demons, the season has come to an
end...but win or lose, these boys played with their hearts and had lots
of fun! At the end of the day, that is what is most important!
And
so just like that, the day has come and gone...and the 8th grade right
of passage (awards day, luncheon and fun) to high school has officially
taken place....yesterday, my baby was in kindergarten...for a few more
days he's an 8th grader...and then, tomorrow, in the blink of an eye, he
will be a freshman in high school...and thus far, through it all, he
has maintained his character...he may be
the typical, mouthy teenager here at home, but to his peers and
teachers alike, he is a guy of good character...my prayer is that the
same may always be said of him, that he continues to keep his eyes set
on his Jesus and on his goals (in that order) with no worries as to what
others may or may not think...
When he asked me this morning
if I had taken the whole day off for his awards day and I said 'yes' he
then commented: 'you aren't coming to the luncheon and park, too, are
you?' I simply smiled and to the rolling of his eyes, said 'yes.' But
my heart was really saying: "Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss this for
the world! You are my baby and today as you seemingly end one chapter of
your life and are soon to embark upon another one, I intend to be
there...just like I was there on the first day of kindergarten and
likewise, the last... " What he doesn't and likely, will never
understand is that sometimes there is just profound joy in simply being
his mom. I love you Alex Albro and am proud of your accomplishments these past 8 years! I can't wait to see what the next 4 hold!
